Dear Parishioners,
Some
people may find it hard to believe—since I have to do it practically every day—but one of the greatest fears
in my life is speaking in public. When
I initially contemplated a priestly vocation, I actually thought that it would
be great being a priest—as long as I didn’t have to say anything publicly. I know that this particular fear exists for
many people. I have worked to overcome
my anxiety over the years, with God’s grace.
That
being said, I still very much like being quiet
and alone at times. Whether in my room, driving in my car, praying
in church, or walking along the beach, I like my quiet time. Basically, I am
an introvert. This means that usually I get re-energized
when I am alone. It’s not that I don’t
like being around people or haven’t been able to develop the necessary
interpersonal skills required as a priest.
Extroverts get recharged being
around people. I am just the opposite.
I
think that knowing who I am and trying to understand myself, helps me to
comprehend some of the decisions that I make. Why do I gravitate towards a silent, monastic retreat? Why do I find so much solace praying quietly
in front of the Blessed Sacrament? Why do I usually vacation in places where I
can find quiet and peace of mind? (Why
am I writing this to you from one of those quiet
places?)
I
am on vacation right now recharging my
battery. I like the beach—having
grown up at the Jersey shore—and so I frequently spend time near an ocean or
shore. For a few days, I will be alone
(with God, of course!). For the major part
of the vacation, a couple of my friends will join me. My ultimate goal is to be refreshed and
renewed when I return to the parish. I
have time to pray (especially the Mass
as I bring my travelling Mass-kit with me), to read, to write, to
exercise and just to relax.
Reflecting
on Jesus’ life, He too was found at various places—by the sea (Mt. 4:18), in
the wilderness (Lk. 5: 16), up the mountain (Mk. 6: 45-46, Lk. 6: 12), in the
garden (Lk. 22: 39-46)—where He could pray, reflect and be alone. I suspect He knew best how to find the
necessary quiet time after days of preaching, teaching and ministry.
I usually find that it does me a world of good to withdraw from the daily routine for some extended time and to find a corner of the world where I can recharge my inner battery. Besides, the parish staff usually agrees that I am much more pleasant and easier to work with after some time away! Just think of how good this vacation time is for them!
See
you in another week!
Fr.
Ed Namiotka
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