Monday, October 13, 2014

It Isn’t Christmas Yet!

Dear Parishioners,

A couple of weeks ago, on my day off, I went out to dinner with my mom.  Afterwards, we planned to see a movie.  We had some time before the show would begin, and we decided to stop into one of the local department stores to browse.  Lo and behold, I couldn’t believe it!  Christmas decorations! Christmas displays!  Christmas presents!  It was still September!  It was hot outside!  We had been to the beach earlier that day!  I had been in a bathing suit that afternoon soaking up the sun!  Unbelievable!  Simply unbelievable!

Our society is so obviously driven by an intense consumer mentality indicative of a world focused on materialismthings, things and more thingsBuy this product!  You need this beauty aid to look good!  This car will tell everyone how important you are!  This latest smart phone is worth standing outside all night long to purchase!  If you don’t wear these athletic shoes you will not excel among all the competition!  You absolutely must give her this piece of jewelry to tell her how important she is to you!  This television . . . this computer . . . this beer . . .  this candy . . .  this toy . . . will make your dreams come true, will satisfy your every longing, will make you the perfect person, will tell him how much you love him, will show everyone that you understand what it means to enjoy life.

Will it really?  Rather, it will probably just increase the amount of debt that you owe on your credit cards.

Instead, should we not treasure the person over the thing?  Isn’t the time that we can spend listening, helping, consoling, encouraging, teaching, etc., much more valuable than the things we could ever give to someone?  In the end, what do we actually take with us when we die?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing from this material world!

Before Christmas actually arrives, our society celebrates occasions like Halloween and Thanksgiving.  Then the Church asks us to observe the four weeks of Advent in preparation for Christmas.  When Christmas arrives we have an octave (8 days) to celebrate it and an entire season to enjoy it!  (You can tell when you are actually in the Christmas season itself because everything about Christmas is removed from the stores, the after-Christmas sales are over, no more Christmas music is played, the decorations and trees come down, and the focus is on Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day and Easter!)

All of the stress on things (which can cause a considerable amount of stress in our lives) can eclipse the more important spiritual matters to which we need to be more attentive—the Incarnation and Nativity of Jesus, the Son of God.  This eclipse will happen, however,  only if we let it! 

I’m sorry for ranting and raving here.  I guess there’s just a few things that I had to get off my chest.  Normally, I wouldn’t be writing about Christmas this far ahead of time—in  October.

But I decided to mention these matters before the Easter baskets are put on display.

Fr. Ed Namiotka

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Remembering Fr. Benedict

Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR  (1933-2014)

Dear Parishioners,

On October 3rd, the vigil of the feast of St. Francis of Assisi, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR, returned to the Lord at the age of 81.  Many people might remember him from his weekly TV appearances on EWTN, from the numerous books that he wrote or from the many talks or retreats that he gave during his life.

Fr. Groeschel was a true character.  He hailed from Jersey City (which he often compared to “purgatory”) and continually spoke of and witnessed to his love and concern for the poor.  He was most at home with the downtrodden, outcasts and the poorest of the poor.  His unique sense of humor carried him through life, including his ability to poke fun at himself.  (I still remind people of his saying that there are “no U-Hauls in a funeral procession—you can’t take it with you!”)

I attended a number of priest retreats with Fr. Benedict as the Retreat Master at Trinity Retreat House in Larchmont, NY.  As a seminarian at Mt. St. Mary’s Seminary, he gave the annual retreat during one of my years there.  He spoke to the priests of our diocese at one of our annual convocations.  I recall his regular presence at the annual March for Life in Washington, DC.  I read his books, listened to his tapes and CD’s, and watched his videos and TV shows.  I certainly admired his love for and fidelity to the Catholic Church.

Leaving the Capuchin Franciscan Friars (OFM Cap) in 1987, Fr. Benedict helped found the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal (CFR) because of a desire to embrace poverty more completely.  This new order sought renewal and reform within the Catholic Church by their evangelical witness.  They currently number approximately 120 friars.

Fr. Benedict was hit by a car in 2004.  The trauma of the accident triggered a heart attack and he nearly died.  Remarkably, against all odds, he recovered and assumed many of his former duties.  However, in 2009, at the age of 75, he had a stroke which once again slowed him down by affecting his cognitive abilities and speech.

His legacy of charity, scholarship and other good works (with too many accomplishments to list here) was tarnished and overshadowed by a faux pas in 2012 in a newspaper interview in which he defended some sexual abusers and seemingly blamed the victims.  He subsequently apologized for his statement and any harm that was done by it.  Unfortunately, the incident became widespread in the media and the damage to his reputation was doneA lifetime of good work was somehow eclipsed by this unfortunate incident.

May our prayers be with you Fr. Benedict.
I’m sure that you’ll survive purgatory okay after working in the Bronx and growing up in Jersey City!

Fr. Ed Namiotka
St. Francis of Assisi

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Tying Up Loose Ends

Dear Parishioners,

Do you have a “to do” list?  Very often there are things in our lives that we push aside until later, when we have time.  Perhaps, there may be some issues that we just don’t want to face right now.  Putting these matters into a spiritual context, I compiled a list of some questions that we might ask ourselves to see whether or not there are some unresolved concerns in our spiritual lives:

  • Should I be taking more time to pray each day?
  • How often do I open the Bible to read and to reflect on the Sacred Scriptures?
  • Have I been meaning to get to Mass more often and on a regular basis?
  • Has it been too long since I made a sacramental confession?
  • Do I volunteer my service to my church in some capacity or do I wait for someone else to do it?
  • Do I tell the members of my family that I love them often?
  • Do I pray for my spouse and my children (or my parents)?
  • Do I take my spouse (or family) for granted?
  • Am I holding a grudge against anyone?
  • Have I forgiven someone who has hurt me or asked forgiveness from someone whom I have hurt?
  • Have I recently visited that family member or friend who is homebound or institutionalized?
  • Is there someone from my past who I have lost contact with and never taken the time to get in touch with again?
  • Have I made that donation to charity that I had intended to do?
  • If I am struggling with some issue, have I sought out professional help or someone qualified to assist me, or do I choose to go it alone?
  • If I have failed at something, have I prayed for the courage and strength to begin and to try again?

I realize that there are times in all of our lives when we may feel overwhelmed, out of control, down in the dumps or just simply tired.  Personally, I have found that when my spiritual life is in order and I minimize any unresolved spiritual issues, the other matters in my life seem to fall more into place.

Jesus gave us two great commandments:  to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind" and to love your neighbor as yourself (see Mt. 22: 36-40).  Let’s try not to complicate matters and work to keep the spiritual things in our lives in proper perspective and in right priority.

Fr. Ed Namiotka

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Married? How’s your Relationship?

Dear Parishioners,

When I was newly ordained, a couple from my parish asked me to go on a Marriage Encounter Weekend.  As you might expect, my first reaction was somewhat puzzled.  I am obviously not married.  What would be the benefit of me attending such a weekend?

Over a quarter of a century later, I can honestly say that this experience (and its aftermath) had one of the most profound and lasting effects on me as a person and on my priestly ministry.  This is probably not something that I would have chosen to do myself.  It would certainly not even be on my “radar screen.”  Yet, what happened as a result can only be described as life-changing.  And it was thanks to a couple who simply invited me to try such an experience.

For approximately twenty-seven years, I have been presenting the Marriage Encounter Weekend usually twice a year.  Together with a team of three couples, we present a series of talks to couples (and sometimes to priests and religious) with the goal of making good marriages better.  The Marriage Encounter Weekend is not primarily designed for troubled marriages.  It is meant to open up the lines of communication between husband and wife in what is essentially a private experience between the husband and wife.

What it did for me personally was help me understand married couples (and their families) better, help me open up lines of communication, help me better understand my relationship to the Church—the Body of Christ--and also to understand my feelingsFeelings, in particular, are not something most men know how to deal with or choose to deal with at all

Ladies, have you ever felt that your husband sometimes doesn’t seem to understand you?  Guys, are your wives sometimes still a mystery to you in many ways?  Do you both ever wonder if there is more to life than what you are currently experiencing?  Then maybe it’s time to try a Marriage Encounter Weekend.  You can be newly-married or married for fifty years.  It does not matter.  The weekend can help to make any marriage better.

If you are married and desire more for your marriage, I invite you to consider attending such a weekend.  The next two weekends that I am scheduled to present are October 17, 18 and 19, 2014 and December 5, 6 and 7, 2014 (beginning on Friday evening) at the Golden Inn Hotel and Resort in Avalon.  For further information, you can check out the South Jersey Worldwide Marriage Encounter website ( or call (609) 742-4035.

Many people are afraid of the unknown, afraid of change or may not want to “rock the boat.”  I invite you, and ask you to suggest to your spouse the possibility of attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend

I can only tell you from experience that it indeed has life-changing possibilities!

Fr. Ed Namiotka

Monday, September 8, 2014

Why a "Second Collection" Each Week?

Dear Parishioners,

The question has been raised to me at various times asking why our parish has a weekly second collection.  Let me take a few moments to explain.

Some collections are simply beyond our control.  They are mandated by the diocese for special causes.  These include the collections for the Church in Central and Eastern Europe, the Catholic Communication Collection, the Retired Religious Special Collection, the Pro-Life Collection, and the Catholic University of America Collection, to name a few.

Then there are times when an unexpected and unplanned need arises and the Bishop asks for our assistance.  The collection to help the Brothers of the Hospitaller Order of St. John of God with the Ebola virus outbreak in Africa, or the collection to help the victims of Super Typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines last year (2013) are such examples.

At other times we work with missionaries who make an appeal on behalf of their religious order or their diocese.  Fr. Wilson Paulose recently spoke to our parish on behalf of the people of India and the Diocese of Berhampur in which he works.  The second collection that week went to the missions in India.
Locally, we have used the money from this second collection to help with necessary maintenance, repairs and improvements to our grounds and buildings above and beyond what our budget would normally allow.  Have you noticed how recently five ceiling fans have been added to the nave of the church (which circulate the air in the warmer months but, more importantly, will keep the heat down—because heat rises—in the cold months).  Have you noticed that the interior church walls have been repaired and painted, and that the front church doors and exterior pillars are currently being repaired and painted?

What are some of our future needs (for which we could earmark some of our second collections)You probably realize that the cornerstone of the church building reads 1956 and I suspect that some of the repairs that we anticipate are a result of the age of this building (nearly 60 years old).
Our sound system is old and on its last leg.  While it is currently working, you might notice a black cord that runs discreetly across the sanctuary because the altar microphone died earlier this year.  Our body mic (which the deacon and priests sometimes wear) and handheld mics all need to be replaced.  The amplifier in the sacristy is old (and, incidentally, I am told is borrowed from the man who repairs it).  These repairs/replacements will necessitate a few thousand dollars to do properly.

Next, the heating and air-conditioning chillers (the green, rectangular boxes under the windows) are in need of cleaning and refurbishing.  Needless to say, they are far from energy efficient.  The estimated cost of doing all of these is in the tens of thousands of dollars.

We help subsidize St. Joseph Regional School.  In fact, every parish in the diocese, whether they have a school or not, is required to subsidize some regional Catholic elementary school.  Wouldn’t a special second collection to help with our parish subsidy seem appropriate?  Our current subsidy is about forty-four thousand dollars per year.

Then there is always the unforeseen.  Our current parish savings is approximately forty thousand dollars.  One unforeseen, major repair could wipe that out instantly!

Quite frankly, I wish I never had to take up a second collection.  I wish everyone would electronically tithe each week and we could eliminate most second collections.  (Electronic giving would help us to plan better and to be more assured of a regular source of income.)  I wish more than a quarter of our population went to church each week.  (Those of you reading this column in the bulletin are probably not the ones I actually need to reach.  Thanks for your ongoing support!)  I wish, I wish, I wish!

Until I find the genie in the bottle to grant these wishes, I guess a second collection each week is painfully necessary.

Fr. Ed Namiotka