Have I Told You Lately that I Love You?

Dear Parishioners,

I have been involved with Worldwide Marriage Encounter for well over to 35 years.  (To see exactly how a celibate priest like me fits into this community, you will just have to make a Marriage Encounter weekend!) The Marriage Encounter community has shaped me as a person and has helped to direct my priesthood and the ministry flowing from it. I have learned (and am still learning) many valuable lessons to apply to myself and my relationship with others as a result of my many years of participation.

For example, one simple lesson is as follows: We can sometimes take people for granted. Those around us every day—whether they are family, co-workers or friends—can unfortunately get lost in the busyness or shuffle of everyday living. We can occasionally assume that others know how we feel about them. We neglect to tell them that we “love” them, that we care for them or that we appreciate them. As a consequence, people can get hurt—albeit sometimes unintentionally.

What can we do to try to avoid this from happening? Take the time to tell your husband or wife that you love him or her. Embrace your children and let them see how much you love them by spending time with them and by telling them that they mean the world to you. Compliment a co-worker. Call a friend and tell him or her how much you appreciate his or her friendship. Don’t take people, especially your spouse, for granted!

We can apply this thinking also to our relationship with God: tell Jesus how much you love Him, His Father and their Holy Spirit. We should try never to let a day pass where we fail to acknowledge the presence of God in our lives!

On another important note, the second Sunday of February (last Sunday) is annually designated as World Marriage Day (having been established by Worldwide Marriage Encounter). In 1983, this day was “designated as a day to honor the husband and wife as head of the family, the basic unit of society. It salutes the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice and joy in daily married life.”

As the traditional definition of marriage is challenged, and there are increasing attempts to redefine it, go back to the teaching of Jesus in the Sacred Scriptures as a point of reference:

Jesus said . . . “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.  (Mt. 19: 4-6)

Marriage is sacred. It is one of the seven sacraments of our Catholic Church.  As something divinely instituted, it needs to be respected and defended.

Finally, since theologically, I share the same bride as Christ as His priest (i.e., the Church) I want to make sure that I heed my own advice and not neglect my spouse! I hope that I never forget to tell you this: I love you, my parishioners, my spouse! I also hope that I never neglect you or take you for granted!

Fr. Ed Namiotka

Pastor

More About The Sacrament of Penance (Confession)

Dear Parishioners,

Continuing with the topic of the Sacrament of Penance (Confession), I have some questions frequently asked of me and some personal observations for you to ponder this week.

When is it necessary to go to confession prior to receiving Holy Communion? 

Whenever one is conscious of any serious (mortal) sin, confession should ordinarily occur first. Unfortunately there are some occasions when many people do not think that this rule applies. Let me take the topic of missing Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation. When people do not go to Mass regularly (each week) without a legitimate reason (for example, serious illness, the need to care for an infant or someone who needs continuous attention, etc.), they really should go to confession prior to receiving Holy Communion.

How often should I go to confession?

As often as necessary, but certainly whenever there is serious sin. Church law still requires us to make an Easter Duty which obliges Catholics (who are lawfully permitted) to receive Holy Communion at least once a year during Easter time. This means that first we should be in the state of grace (not conscious of any serious sin). Therefore, confession is usually part of this routine. A good spiritual practice has always been monthly confession.

Does it matter whether I go behind the screen or face to face?

No. One should go wherever he or she can be completely honest and open about his or her sinfulness and actions. Sometimes anonymity helps various penitents with the process.

What happens if I deliberately withhold a sin in confession?

Sins deliberately withheld are technically not presented to the priest (who acts in persona Christi) for forgiveness in the sacrament. Usually this case involves an embarrassing situation (a sexual sin, an abortion, etc.) – something that the penitent thinks that they could never tell anyone about. From my personal experience, often there is more joy over the forgiveness brought to the repentant person than embarrassment from the sin itself. 

There are those times when a penitent tries to sneak things in through the back door: "Father, I am sorry for all of my sins."  or "Father, I have broken every commandment." Still on other occasions people have told me that they do not feel sorry for what they did (and therefore feel no need to confess the sin) although the Church teaches that is it wrong. What I have often found is that people who do not make an integral confession usually wind up carrying the guilt around (perhaps denying it or suppressing it) until they get up enough courage to confess the sin(s) at some later point in time through the grace of God. 

My advice when using the Sacrament of Penance: put all the cards on the table, get everything out, hide nothing and you will experience a peace like never before! Yes, it involves a great deal of trust and a confessor who you can talk to and to whom you can open up your soul.  If you find a good confessor, you have found a priceless gift!

Some personal observations:

A person should go to confession to talk about his or her own sinfulness. Sometimes people want to discuss someone in their family who has problems or even that other person’s sins. This might be something to consider in spiritual direction or counseling, but it is not really what confession is supposed to entail. Confession is about a person looking deep within oneself and honestly admitting before God what he or she has done wrong. The Sacrament of Penance is here for our benefit. It is meant to reconcile us to God and to the Church. It is here so that we can experience the love, mercy and forgiveness of God in this world. Please differentiate confession from spiritual direction, counseling or some opportunity to talk to the priest. Remember others may be waiting in line behind you.

My hope as a pastor is that more people will begin to take advantage of this sacrament on a regular basis. Honestly, I do not usually let a week or two go by without seeking out the opportunity to experience the grace of this sacrament for myself.                                                                                                                    

Fr. Ed Namiotka

Pastor

Homily for the Presentation of Our Lord in the Temple - Fr. Edward Namiotka

 

The Sacrament of Penance . . . in a Nutshell

Dear Parishioners,

Having heard numerous confessions for nearly 40 years, I think that it might be helpful to give a type of primer or refresher course for using the Sacrament of Penance. While it may take some time to get everything covered thoroughly, here is my humble attempt to help simplify matters.

The first act important to a good confession is a thorough Examination of Conscience.  We have to look at our lives and see what we have done that is sinful. Many people reflect on the Ten Commandments, the teachings of Jesus in the Gospel, the letters of St. Paul or some formulated written examination to help with the process.

Any known serious sin needs to be confessed in kind and in number. What this means is that I have to tell the priest exactly what I did and the number of times that I did it. I have had people come into confession and say, “Father, I did some really bad things.” This really leaves the priest clueless. Bad things can run the gamut from stealing to murder to adultery to whatever. It is too vague. The reason we need to know the number of times is to give us some sense of the frequency of the problem.

Serious sin basically consists of the following three conditions:

• Grave Matter - The nature of what was done is serious business
• Sufficient Reflection - The person thinks about it and realizes it is wrong to do it
• Full Consent of the Will – The person freely commits the sin knowing it is wrong

In other words, a serious sin (sometimes called a mortal sin) is an action that I know is seriously wrong and yet I choose to do it anyway. Sins that lack one of the above conditions usually are considered venial or less-serious sins. While they do not necessarily need to be confessed in number (“I lied six times”), the gravity or nature of the sin is important. It can be the difference between lying to the telemarketer that “He is not home” to lying to your wife that “I have to work late” (because you are having an affair with your secretary). Both are forms of lies, but one certainly is more serious than the other. Usually what is best is to determine certain patterns of venial sin and to confess the patterns that you are aware of rather than try to number every single sin (which is usually only a calculated guess anyway)

The Process

• Examine your conscience thoroughly. Quietly think about what you did wrong.

• Begin by making the Sign of the Cross. The traditional formula many people are accustomed to is: “Bless me (or forgive me), Father, for I have sinned. It has been (how long?) since my last confession. These are my sins . . . .”

• Confess all of the sins that you can remember. It is not necessary to worry about the number of times for venial (less serious) sins, BUT the number of times a mortal (deliberate and serious) sin is committed should be mentioned. This gives the priest an idea of the seriousness and frequency of the problem.

• If you are not sure if something is sinful, ask the priest to clarify it for you.

• Do not withhold any sin deliberately. The purpose of confession is to admit your sinfulness and to clear your conscience. To hold back sin defeats the purpose of confession. Remember that you speak to God through the priest. You really cannot hide anything from God. No matter how embarrassing something may be, trust that the priest will understand and is anxious to help you reconcile with God and the Church.

• Do not worry about unintentionally forgotten sins. It is usually a good practice to end confession in this manner: “For these and all of the sins of my past life which I cannot now remember, I am sorry.”

• Remember that going to confession means that you want to change for the better. There should be a purpose of amendment which means that you promise to try not to do the same things over again. Perhaps you may fall into sin again, but it important that you resolve to try to do better.

• The priest will give you some penance. The completion of the penance is part of the sacrament. If you do not do the penance, this should be confessed in your next confession.

• Say an Act of Contrition. (Sometimes during a Communal Penance Service this may be done together.) You may use one that you know or recite a prayer of sorrow in your own words.

• The priest will give absolution and then dismiss you. You can be confident that any sin told to a priest in confession is in strict confidence. The priest can never reveal the content of an individual’s confession so that any sin is equated to a particular person. (canon 983) [The Seal of Confession is so sacred that if the priest breaks it he can only be forgiven by the Pope himself (canon 1388) and the priest is never allowed to hear confessions again. The priest must even give up his life before breaking that seal. In addition, the priest may never use knowledge from confession against a person. (canon 984)] 

Fr. Ed Namiotka

Pastor

Homily for the 3rd Sunday in Ordinary Time "C" - Fr. Edward Namiotka

 

Concern for the Most Vulnerable

 

Dear Parishioners,

This past Wednesday, January 22nd, was the Day of Prayer for the Legal Protection of Unborn Children. I wonder how many people were even aware of this?

When Roe v. Wade was officially overturned by the Supreme Court on June 24, 2022, I stated that the battle for the rights of unborn (or preborn) children would need to continue on the local (i.e., state) level. New Jersey and its current majority of legislators are, sadly, by no means “pro-life.”  Rather, the call for the protection of so-called “abortion rights” unfortunately continues. Do we ever seriously contemplate the rights of all the vulnerable children yet to be born?

In actuality, the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is clearly stated in the U.S. Declaration of Independence. Our founders recognized that people have a right to live in this world. Logically, if humans create a new human life, then that new person now has a right to exist. (This is abundantly clear even before we intensify matters by bringing any mention of God or morality into the picture.) From a merely human perspective, innocent, vulnerable human life needs protection in similar manner to various legislation enacted to protect the bald eagles' eggs, baby seals, elephants from being hunted for their tusks, dogs from being used in deadly dogfights, etc.

As Christians, we take this situation a step further by realizing that every person is created in the image and likeness of God. We believe that God elevated our human dignity by becoming one of us in the Incarnation of Jesus. We acknowledge that every born or preborn baby has both a developing body and an immortal soul destined for eternity. We hold to timeless precepts such as Thou shalt not kill.  We believe that medicine and technology minimally should do no harm to the patient (human person), and certainly not deliberately destroy him or her in the womb.

The problem now exists where people have become much too comfortable in their sin. What might have seemed so obvious in the past—a grave sin or repulsive evil—is now accepted or even glorified.  Sin dulls the conscience and blocks the intellect.  The lies that have been uttered over and over again begin to be believed and then held as “truths” and “rights.” Good becomes bad and bad becomes good.  Our world winds up upside down.

Unfortunately, too many people do not want to upset the status quo. Keep your mouth shut! Previously, you would seriously risk being cancelled. I hope people are beginning to wake up and not fear to speak up! Free speech is something guaranteed in our Constitution—the Bill of Rights, to be precise.

Yes, we have a long way to go before things change for the good. However, left without resistance we see evil advance in (formerly, obviously repulsive) acts like infanticide, euthanasia, the acceptance of pedophilia or ephebophilia, a distortion of marriage, recognition of sodomy (and other acts) as sexual alternatives, dissatisfaction with one’s gender, propagation and use of artificial contraception and various abortifacients, a flourishing pornography industry, etc. etc. This could never happen in an enlightened, civilized society, could it? Just look around you. Our societal values resemble pagan and not Christian cultures.

While the message of the Gospel is suppressed, minimized, mocked, and seen as outdated and irrelevant, what will it take to bring people to their knees and acknowledge the need for Jesus Christ and His true Church? 

I truly fear to ask this question.

Fr. Ed Namiotka 

Pastor

                       

Changing Water into Wine

 

Dear Parishioners,

This Sunday’s Gospel, the Wedding at Cana (Jn. 2: 1-11), is probably familiar to most Christians. We see Christ’s first public miracle portrayed in St. John’s Gospel where water is changed into wine at a wedding celebration. There are a number of essential theological points not to be missed in this passage, above and beyond the actual miracle itself.

First is the role of the Blessed Virgin Mary as intercessor and a type of new Eve. It was at the apparent request of His mother that Jesus worked this miracle. When people question Catholics about our custom of requesting assistance from the Mother of God and not just going to Jesus directly, I remind them that the Bible clearly demonstrates how she was instrumental in requesting her Son’s help on other people’s behalf. She interceded on behalf of this newlywed couple and she can certainly do the same for us. Then she goes on to tell us all to “Do whatever He tells you” to do (Jn. 2:5). Could we ever receive any better advice?

Rather than address His mother with a more intimate, familial term (mother, mom, etc.) in this passage, Jesus addresses her as Woman. “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.” (Jn. 2:4) St. John is connecting a few dots here for us. The reference certainly recalls the first woman, Eve. Mary is going to become the new Eve who is completely obedient to the will of God and does what He asks of her. Moreover, in this same Gospel Jesus uses the identical term for His mother at the foot of the cross (His hour) where she is given to St. John (and to the entire Church through him.) She, as the new Eve, is now our spiritual mother, Mother of the Church.

Note how water was not only changed into wine, but it was the best wine. While Jewish wedding celebrations certainly had wine present for festivity, this best wine can have a spiritual meaning as well. Jesus provided something superior to what anyone else can do. The wine was also produced in super-abundance. Wine can be symbolic for joy and Jesus certainly can provide for all of us more true joy than the world can ever give. If we look at Heaven as a wedding banquet [See: the Wedding of the Lamb in the Book of Revelation (19: 6-9)], then Jesus provides the joy to be found there in superabundance.

In order to obtain the desired outcome, Jesus had people cooperate with Him in the endeavor. The servants were told to fill the jars with water. Jesus wants them (and us) to participate in the process. We are not called to merely stand by and watch but to participate actively with Him.

This miracle is another type of epiphany revealing the identity of Jesus. With the epiphany of Jesus to the magi, all nations are seen coming to worship Him as God and King. At His baptism, Jesus is revealed as part of a Divine Trinity (the voice of the Father, the Spirit descending on Him like a dove). At the wedding in Cana, Jesus performs His first public miracle leading Him to His Hour where He suffers and dies on the cross as Savior for us.

Finally, while at Mass we participate in a sacred ritual pointing us to the Wedding Banquet of Heaven. Mass is a foretaste of Heaven and our eternal union with God. God’s intention is to have us share in His Divinity as He shared in our humanity. When we receive Holy Communion, the Body and Blood of Our Lord, anticipate this Wedding of the Lamb.

Fr. Ed Namiotka

Pastor

Homily for the Baptism of Our Lord "C" - Fr. Edward Namiotka

 

Reflecting on Our Baptism

Dear Parishioners,

There are times when we are reminded that we are baptized Christians. Whenever we walk into a Catholic Church and bless ourselves with holy water, we should recall that we are baptized. On Easter Sunday, the priest will ask that we renew our baptismal promises (in place of reciting the Nicene Creed) and will go up and down the church sprinkling us with the newly blessed Easter water. As an option for the penitential rite at Sunday Mass, the priest may also sprinkle us with the holy water recalling our baptism. Additionally, the Baptism of the Lord provides an opportunity for us to reflect on our own baptism.

Baptism makes us a Christian. We are not born in union with God but alienated from Him because of original sin. While we did not commit this sin, all humanity was wounded or stained by the disobedience of the first humans. (See Romans 5:12-21) We are not born into Grace (God’s life) but receive this life through our baptism. By baptism we are cleansed from original sin (and any personal sin if we are old enough to know and commit sin). We become adopted children of God though Christ. The Holy Spirit now dwells in us. We die with Christ in baptism so as to one day share eternal life with Him. We are welcomed into the Catholic Church and become a member awaiting full initiation (which comes with First Holy Communion and Confirmation). We need to reflect often on what baptism has done for and to us.

We remain in God’s grace unless we sin mortally. The concept of serious or mortal sin tells us that a particular sin (a willing, thought-out choice that we make involving a grave or serious matter) can once again alienate us from God’s grace. Apart from original sin which we inherit, we choose to sin. Fortunately, it is the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation (confession) that once again restores our baptismal graces and reconciles us with God and the Church. I tell people that every confession is a new beginning for us and we become a new creation because of God’s abundant mercy.

The Church still advocates infant baptism. I recall how it was important for so many in past generations to take seriously the teaching of the Church that infants be baptized in the first weeks following birth. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “The Church and the parents would deny a child the priceless grace of becoming a child of God were they not to confer Baptism shortly after birth.”(#1250) The gift of Faith is so precious that I personally cannot understand how someone would knowingly deny or unnecessarily prolong his or her child from receiving baptism.

Baptism is one of those sacraments that is never repeated—once baptized, always baptized. It imparts a permanent character on us that is not removed—even by sin. Sin, however, can prevent baptism from bearing the fruits of salvation. Hence, there is a need and an obligation to be reconciled of any post-baptismal sin (especially mortal sin) by means of the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation.

So I ask that you think about your own baptism and all of its implications. Parents who have not yet presented your children for baptism are reminded to take this obligation very seriously. If you bring a child into this world, you are responsible for his or her upbringing, physical and material needs, love and emotional needs, as well as his or her eternal salvation. We are saved only through Christ Jesus. There is no other way to the Father except through Him. (See Jn. 14:6) Baptism is the way to eternal life because it is the means by which we allow Christ to be truly Lord of our life.

Fr. Ed Namiotka

Pastor

Homily for the Epiphany of Our Lord - Fr. Edward Namiotka