Dear Parishioners,
Last week I decided to glance at the church bulletin of
another St. Joseph Church in Pennsylvania. I went to the seminary with the pastor there
and I thought that it might be interesting to see what he wrote recently to his
own parishioners and the issues he was facing many miles from here.
Perhaps, some of the things that he has to say might also be appropriate
for us to consider as well?
Fr. Ed
Namiotka
Dear Friends in Christ,
Over the past several months, I have received
numerous letters and concerned comments regarding poor manners at church. In one sense, we should not be surprised at
the lack of proper respect and dress at church, because we live in a very
casual world where many people have forgotten manners and discipline. However, manners, whether at Mass or in other
situations, reveal the value we place on each other and God: think about the
term “Sunday best.” With respect to our
dress, we live in a society where even corporate America has changed to casual
attire. However, some of those companies have or are revisiting this policy
because of the psychology of dress: our dress assists us in the ways in which
we behave. More and more, I see casual
attire at weddings and funerals, which were always considered “dress-up”
events. Many people have lost all sense
of basic politeness, like holding the door open for someone, especially a lady,
particularly an expectant mother or an elderly person. (I was raised to be a gentleman, so call me
old fashioned if you like.) Seldom do
the words “please” and “thank you” echo in our ears.
While we may not be
surprised at such a state of affairs, we should not condone it or lower
ourselves to embrace this standard. Each
of us should strive for better manners, especially “Church Manners.”
Therefore, as a Priest and one who was raised
by good, diligent parents, I will present what I consider good Church Manners.
First, let us start at how we prepare for
Mass. People should dress appropriately. In our society, we still consider coat
and tie for men and dresses or suits for women appropriate attire for weddings,
for special parties (even Christmas parties) and certainly for meeting
dignitaries, like the Pope or the President. We should then dress in the same way to meet
our Lord, present in the Holy Eucharist. Granted, perhaps in the summer we could be a
little more casual, but we can still be neat, clean, and properly clothed. Frankly, shorts and beach wear are an
inappropriate form of dress for Church. In
deciding what to wear, we should be thinking, “I am dressing to meet my Lord
and to participate in the mystery of my salvation.”
Before leaving home, we should make sure we go
to the bathroom. People going in and out
of the pews during Mass for the bathroom is distracting. Granted, there are
legitimate reasons for having to use the bathroom during Mass. However, I think that some of us have just
gotten into a routine: during the homily, go to the bathroom; during Communion,
get the drink of water. Frankly, when I
was growing up, I don’t think our church even had a public bathroom, because we
were taught by the Sisters and reinforced by our parents not leave that pew
except to receive Holy Communion.
Next, leave home with time to arrive at church
before Mass begins, preferably about five or 10 minutes. Doing so allows everyone to have a few moments
for prayer and to be ready to participate in the Mass. Granted, circumstances arise which will delay
a family. Such a situation is different
from the perpetually late.
When entering the church, be sure to make the
sign of the cross with the Holy Water; this gesture reminds us of our baptism
and does dispel evil. Before entering
the pew, be sure to genuflect, an important act of reverence to the presence of
our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacle. Also, please turn off the cell phones and the
beepers, not only to give some undivided attention to God, but also to spare
everyone else the distraction of a phone ringing or other electronic devices
sounding during Mass.
In worshiping, participate in the songs and
prayers, follow the readings and listen attentively to the homily. In all my Priesthood, I have been surprised at
those “pillars” that never open their mouths to sing or pray. Parents should help their children: last Sunday,
I saw a mother following the readings with her finger so her two young children
could more easily and attentively read. In all, everyone should joyfully and
reverently participate in the Mass.
Parents need to supervise their children. Jesus loves and welcomes children, but they do
need our help. If a child is fussy, then
the parent should quickly take the child to the Narthex or to the Children’s
Chapel to allow the child to calm down before returning. Children should not be allowed to rattle keys,
drop toys, kick the pews or run in the aisles. These behaviors are enormously distracting. Parents simply need to be parents, using good
judgment and discipline with the little ones.
When receiving Holy Communion, always do so
reverently. Remind ourselves that when
we receive the Consecrated Host, we should be very conscious that we are
receiving the same Lord who was born for us on Christmas Day; the same Jesus
who died for us on Good Friday; the same Jesus who rose from the dead on Easter
Sunday and now sits at the right hand of the Father in heaven! If receiving on the hand, the hands must be
clean and held like a throne for the Lord. After receiving, one should consume the Sacred
Host before turning around to go back to the pew. Holy Communion must not be reminiscent of a
cafeteria line experience, but rather of an encounter with the glorified Lord.
After Communion, each
person must give thanks for the precious gift received and allow the grace to
fill our souls. How tragic it is to see
people leave Mass right after Communion, not because of an emergency, but
because they want to get out of the parking lot first. I can only think of Judas, who was the first
person ever to leave Mass early. To give
the Lord one hour — and usually less — for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is
really not much of a sacrifice. I wonder
how these same people would feel if someone left their own home in the middle
of a meal without even saying thank you.
Finally, after the Mass is concluded with the
blessing, wait until the priest has proceeded down the aisle before leaving the
pew. The congregation should disperse
only after the recessional hymn has concluded. However, before leaving the pew, be sure to
put the hymnal back in its holder and pick up used tissues or other items;
otherwise, someone else has to attend to them.
While I am sure that this list is not
exhaustive, I have witnessed all of these actions as a Priest. I do not want to seem cynical or
condescending, but only teach proper respect for the Mass we love to
celebrate.
Saint Joseph, pray for
us, now and at the hour of our death!
Blessings,
Fr.
Ogden
Pastor, St, Joseph Church, Mechanicsburg, PA
