Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Organized Chaos . . . (or Honk If You Love Jesus!)

Dear Parishioners,
I have observed our church and school parking lot extravaganza for a few weeks now and it certainly has been enlightening.  For some reason it reminded me, in certain instances, of watching an old Keystone Cops movie.
If any parking lines once existed for guidance, they are pretty much faded.  People parked just about wherever they wanted to—two and even three deep at times during the Sunday morning Masses.  Cars were completely blocked in—including mine on more than one occasion.  In front of the school, what looked like a conga line (of cars) was forming.  One, two, three, honk.  (How’s that Sr. Rose?)  People came late.  People left early.  It appeared pretty much to me like sheep without a shepherd—to use a biblical image!
Well it just so happens that I am in the shepherding business.  They don’t call me pastor for nothing.  (I actually think that this vocation is meant for saving souls, but I will try to apply my skills to saving parishioners in cars and parking lots as well.)
My solution:
Step one.  Start a novena to the patron saint of parking lots—whoever that may be.
"Mother Cabrini, Mother Cabrini, please find a spot for my little machiney." 
"Hail Mary, full of grace, help me find a parking space."  (This second chant seems a bit too irreverent for me.  I love the Blessed Mother too much to relegate her to parking duty.) 
Sr. Mary Martha’s blog suggests St. Boniface as the patron saint of parking spaces.

Step two.  Get some of my former students who are now engineers (preferably of the civil variety) to help me evaluate the situation.
Step three.  Paint new lines in bold colors and put up a few new signs for direction.
Step four.  Appoint a minister of the parking lots and get volunteers to help direct traffic.
Step five.  If all else fails seek out St. Jude—the patron saint of hopeless cases!
In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth—and the earth was without form or shape, with darkness over the abyss and a mighty wind sweeping over the waters . . . .” (Genesis 1:1-2)
I figure if God can create the entire universe out of chaos, then maybe, just maybe, he can help me with this slightly smaller problem.
Hopefully the sheep will cooperate.
Beep.  Beep.
Fr. Ed Namiotka
Frustrated Shepherd

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